Time-Out Techniques

As a child I sat my fair time in a time-out, and as they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My son ends up in a time out at least once a day. Lately time-out time doesn’t just have to be about sitting quietly in a corner or a different room until you calm back down. There are different techniques many people use during time-out time. As of right now I haven’t tried any but the good old fashioned in a separate room until you calm down.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/10-time-out-techniques This is a nice read on what a time-out is, and is supposed to be about. Plus a couple of ideas for what you should do for a time out while you are out and about.

Some say that a time out is for a punishment and during time out the child is supposed to be bored and feel some discomfort - http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/time-out/successful-time-out-tactics/ . But I disagree with that. A time out isn’t only a punishment it’s to help the child calm down and be willing to play more. With Thomas when he is being naughty it’s because he is hungry or tired or something. There is a reason he is being naughty, or maybe it’s even just that he is over stimulated. The time out provides him with quiet time to relax and self check as to why it is he is acting that way. Also I don’t time his time outs. I know – horrible mistake. You’re supposed to have it timed blah blah blah. But who am I to say how long it takes him to calm down. Usually his time out is only a couple of seconds long – he sits on someone’s lap and counts to 10 or 15 or 20 and if he has sat still and quiet that long then he can get up and go back to playing. If not then he could be sitting there for a very long time. But other times he needs to sit in a different room all by himself – where he usually screams and hollers and cries his eyes out, but in the end after all that he comes walking back out like everything is back to normal.

1)      A reading nook – something soft to sit on where the child can be allowed to relax and calm down.

2)      Listening to music or a recorded book. There used to be a ton of recorded children’s books when I was little. But I haven’t seen any. You could always record the stories yourself.

3)      Let them express themselves artistically. Give them some crayons or other art supplies of your choice and let them draw out their emotions.

4)      A beanbag pillow they are allowed to punch or kick or pinch. Not to encourage violence, but sometimes you just have the urge to hit something. Knowing the right things to hit from the wrong things is something I’m willing to teach my kid.

5)      Maybe some pots and pans or a toddler drum set if you don’t like the idea of teaching them to punch something, let them take out their frustrations someplace.

6)      Finger knitting – http://cookesfrontier.blogspot.com/2013/03/simple-finger-knitting-tutorial-diy.html

7)      Put them to work – make them do a chore that would be age appropriate. Like my two year old can pick up his toys for example.

8)      The time out jar – As I understand it, it works like a snow globe, the toddler shakes it and watches all the glitter settle and when it has if they haven’t calmed down then they can shake it again. – Fill a plastic bottle 3/4  way full with water, add glitter glue, and glitter to your liking. Super glue the lid on before you give it to the child. And make sure you test it first too.

9)      An educational movie. For Thomas we watch Word World. He loves it, but after he gets older and can understand more he will watch stuff with more education to it.

10)   Have a short amount of quiet time and then draw their attention to something else – like playing a physical game like tag or hide and seek.

11)   Try putting them into a relaxation pose during the time out. - Legs Up the Wall: Lie down on the floor (or on your child’s bed) and lift your legs up onto the wall, so your back is on the floor, your buttocks are at the juncture of the floor and the wall, and your legs are up the wall. Your older child can lie next to you. Babies and toddlers can lie with their backs on your belly, and you can lift their legs up so they are resting onto your legs. You might want to have a small blanket under your baby or toddler’s head for more comfort. This position calms the nervous system, slows down the heart rate, and lowers blood pressure. – from http://pampclub.org/site/2011/10/01/how-to-help-your-kids-relax/

12)   When in doubt cry it out. Sometimes all it takes is a good cry and then they’re back to being their normal selves.

What have you found to be a successful time – out for your child?